You don’t have to wait long for action in New York City. Some people like to purge that early morning aggression before they’ve pushed that first faux Fendi into the arms of a wide-eyed out-of-towner.
Coming down Lexington from 54th, a pair of hyped up street vendors shattered a seemingly calm Monday morning with a rash of broken obscenities.
The spectacle intrigued many onlookers as each of the angry gentlemen gestured wildly across the table full of knock off designer duds.
Both of these spirited high rollers were sporting the latest homeless fashions with stained t-shirts, unkempt hair and unshaven faces. When it comes to rip-off purses, it’s obviously survival of the fittest and it didn't take long for hotter heads to prevail.
The vendor on the sales side of the table was considerably larger than his opponent. He was shouting at the fat man across the table in some sort of English-Arabic hybrid. It was hard to make out, but I understood him to say, “Kind sir, why do you vex me so? Please desist!”
The smaller, yet rotund vendor was obviously a man of action. He displayed this by launching himself over the row of knock off purses to engage his adversary. The vendor on other side of the table managed to catch his attacker in a mid air chokehold.
Designer handbags took flight as the vanquished vendor kicked wildly in an attempt to free himself from the grip of the man he had tried to assault. Somehow, in the midst of all this activity, the folding table was holding firm despite the added weight of the attacker.
After 30 seconds, the events had seemingly reverted back to where they began. The chokehold had been released and the smaller man took this to mean that he had achieved some sort of demented victory.
Before taking his victory dance down Lexington Avenue, the choke victim snatched one of the handbags and fired it into the path of an oncoming taxi.
It’s never easy to tell who the winners and losers are in New York City.
No comments:
Post a Comment